7 Tips for Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts and Thought Spirals as an Autistic Person

Author: Mark Palmer

Autistic brains are busy places. Sometimes this can be great. If you want to be creative or need to solve a problem, a steady stream of thoughts and ideas may be exactly what you need. At other times, like when you are trying to get to sleep, or need to focus on that assignment that is due tomorrow rather than wondering why penguins don’t get frostbite, all those thoughts can be difficult to handle. 

Worst of all are the negative thoughts that seem to ambush your brain from out of nowhere and quickly lead to an unshakeable fixation on a possible impending disaster. That single thought spirals out of control, and no matter how hard you try, that doomsday scenario can quickly intrude on every other thought process for a time. It ends up with you putting some or all of your life on hold until you have resolved the thought spiral in some way. 

Afterwards, you may well wonder why on earth you let yourself become so consumed with anxiety and vow not to let it take over your life like that again in the future. However, it’s not that simple, is it? Sooner or later, you are ambushed by your own head and the spiral starts again. It can feel like watching a car crash with nothing you can do to stop it. 

Before we look at what to do when the thoughts start knocking on your mental door, why is it that Autistic brains seem to have so many thoughts? When we are very young, our brains form huge numbers of internal connections known as synapses. As we grow, many of these connections are then broken as your brain recognises that they are duplicated. Think of it as several wires joining the same two points when only one is needed. But in Autistic brains, a lot less of this synaptic pruning takes place. 

More connections in our brains then lead to more thoughts and ideas. These are not necessarily any better or cleverer than anyone else’s thoughts, but the volume is higher. A higher volume of thoughts overall may then mean more negative thoughts for you to handle. Having a strategy for dealing with these is important, as left unchecked in our heads these thoughts can rapidly come to dominate our lives. It is exhausting, depressing and bad for our mental and physical health.

So how can Autistic people deal with intrusive thoughts and stop them getting out of control?

Don’t fight them

If I tell you not to think of an elephant, the first thing you will do is to think of an elephant. The same applies to those troubling negative thoughts. You may be able to shut them out to a degree for a bit, but just ignoring them is not a viable long-term solution. 

Instead, rather than engaging with those thoughts or fighting to suppress them, try noticing them with curiosity as if you were an impartial observer. By separating yourself from the thoughts, you are already in a much better position to deal with them. You can look at what might have caused them and how realistic they really are. It is an approach that may take some practice and getting used to, but it can be a great starting point.

Just thoughts

Next, recognise that thoughts are only thoughts. If all our thoughts became reality, all of us would be both spectacularly successful in every aspect of our lives and probably guilty of a few crimes as well! A thought means nothing if it does not go anywhere. Indeed, one of the key strategies taught for dealing with prejudice is to analyse your thoughts and when you notice that they are based on subconscious bias, to ensure that they are not actioned. Thoughts alone are just thoughts, and they can only do damage if we let them. It is a liberating concept.

Recognise the difference between your thoughts and reality

Building on the last point, how often do you have thoughts that are clearly at great odds with reality? Perhaps that meal that you cooked that looked so fabulous in your head looked a little different when it was on the plate. Of course, this also applies to negative thoughts. Imagining the worst possible outcome does not mean that is certain or even likely to happen. In most situations with a range of possible outcomes, the most likely results are somewhere in the middle of the range between brilliant and very bad. To really see this, try making a list of  times when you have catastrophised and compare this with the actual outcome. Yes, very bad things do happen, but most of the time they do not, and even if they do, you can deal with them!

Spot triggers

Self-awareness is a hugely valuable skill in dealing with intrusive thoughts. Knowing that you are Autistic, and therefore that your brain works differently to most others is a huge step forward in this. Our brain impacts every aspect of our lives, so it follows that a different sort of brain has wide ranging impacts. Recognise too that the world is not set up for how your brain works. So, there may well be things in your life that trigger negative thoughts that are just not an issue for others. For example, hearing about crimes committed in your area may be much more worrying for you than for others because of the anxieties already present in your Autistic brain. If this is the case, try to avoid those sorts of news reports at least some of the time – not knowing about them does not make you any more likely to be personally affected, it may stop you from worrying so much, and you will likely find it hard to avoid any essential information you need to keep yourself safe.

Change your routine 

Routines can be hugely important for Autistic people. They help us navigate a world which can seem like a very strange place at times. However, they can and should be changed when they are not working for us. If your morning routine means that you regularly miss your train to work, then you need to change it and either get up a little earlier or get ready faster. In the same way, if your routine causes more negative thoughts than you would like, do not be afraid to change it. Again, knowing yourself and observing what triggers your anxieties as an independent third party can be hugely helpful in this process.

Make time for self-care

No matter what steps we take to minimise them, we will always have some intrusive thoughts. To some degree, we need these to keep us safe – it is helpful to consider the possible outcomes of trying to cross the road when there is traffic or picking up a hot pan with our bare hands. Be aware, too, that anxiety and intrusive thoughts can be exhausting, particularly if your Autistic brain bombards you with them. In response, identify what has the opposite effect – what are your triggers for relaxation, positivity and happiness? Work these into your regular routine rather than regarding them as special treats. Taking steps to preserve your mental health is never selfish.

Share or get help

Finally, remember that it is never weak to seek help from others with negative thoughts or any other aspect of your mental health. Recognising that you have a problem, sharing it and seeking help can be one of the most courageous things that we ever do. This can range from a good chat with a friend to formal therapy – what works and is needed will depend on you and your situation. None of us can get through every aspect of life unassisted. We would quite happily call a plumber to fix a leaky pipe because we do not have that expertise. Seeking help with our mental health is no different and should carry no more of a stigma.

You really are not alone, so do not struggle alone. We can get through life together.