First things first!

It is important to understand what is Autism and what the tern “neurodivergent” means. Here is a handy 101 guide to important terminology where we explain it!

Offering support to someone who has just shared that they are neurodivergent or Autistic involves showing understanding, empathy, and willingness to accommodate their needs. In this short guide, we will be sharing some advice on the DOs and DON’Ts of how to react:

Do:

1. Be considerate

   • “Thank you for sharing your experience with me, I appreciate you.”

2. Listen with empathy 

   • Let them know you're there to listen, and that you genuinely care about how they're doing. Make sure they feel heard and understood, without any judgment.

3. Ask 

• “How can I support you? Are there any situations where I could offer you more/any help?”

• Be specific: asking when and what is always better than just assuming.

• Offer practical support: assistance with tasks or activities that may be harder to navigate or may cause a sensory overload.

• Everyone's experience with neurodivergence is unique, so it's important to ask the individual directly how you can best support them. They may have specific needs or preferences that they would like you to be aware of.

• “Would you be willing to share more information about that?”

• Remember: no one is obliged to share about their experience, so be respectful of boundaries, and be mindful of their comfort level.

4. Advocate for inclusivity:

• Take steps to create an inclusive environment where neurodivergent individuals feel accepted and valued. This may involve advocating for accommodations and adjustments in school, work, or social settings.

Don’t

1. Disregard their experience, here are some disrespectful/ableist phrases to avoid:

• "You don't seem neurodivergent."

• "Are you sure? Have you been diagnosed?"

• "But you seem so normal."

• "Can't you just try harder to fit in?"

• "Everyone has struggles."

• "I knew someone who had that and they turned out just fine."

• "You're just using it as an excuse."

• "You don't look autistic/ADHD/Dyslexic/etc."

• "You're too smart to have [insert neurodivergence]."

• "Have you tried [insert unproven or dismissive treatment]?"

2. Pity them:

• Neurodivergent folk do not need your pity. Treating neurodivergent individuals with dignity involves recognising their abilities, embracing their unique qualities, and offering necessary support when needed. 

• It is about creating an inclusive atmosphere where everyone feels appreciated and respected for their individuality.

3. Treat them like their disability makes them less capable:

• It perpetuates harmful stereotypes and undermines their potential. It overlooks the diverse strengths and talents that neurodivergent people possess and unfairly limits their opportunities for growth and success. 

• Everyone, including neurotypical individuals, has strengths and things they find more challenging. 

• Discrimination based on neurodivergence not only harms people but also deprives society of valuable contributions and perspectives.

Remember

1. This is just a short guide! There is not one correct way to offer support to an Autistic or neurodivergent person, however, being kind and respectful of boundaries is always appreciated.

2. Informing yourself is your own responsibility, do not expect neurodivergent or Autistic people to teach you. 

3. Learning about neurodivergence and Autism and empowering neurodivergent folk is part of a deconstruction movement that will hopefully make way for a fairer world for everyone. 

Above all, be a supportive friend, colleague, or family member. Show kindness, understanding, and acceptance, and be there for them whenever they need someone to talk to or lean on.