Understanding Autistic Burnout
Author: Vera | 5 minute read
Recently, I recorded a podcast episode about Autistic burnout with Thomas Henley. You can listen to the full podcast on Spotify here, or on Apple Podcasts here.
We talked about what Autistic burnout is, why it differs from regular burnout, and how it feels to go through this overwhelming state. It was great to talk openly about the common experiences we have, and I was able to share the strategies I use to recover from Autistic burnout and regain a sense of balance and well-being.
This blog is a summary of what Autistic burnout is, what it feels like, and Happy Autistic Lady’s roadmap to recovery.
What is Autistic burnout?
Autistic burnout is a common occurrence in our community. It is chronic, subtle, and debilitating. It goes beyond general burnout and affects not only our energy and mental health, but also our ability to communicate. It can leave us feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and disconnected from ourselves and the world around us.
Chris Bailey, author of "How to Calm Your Mind," describes burnout as a psychological condition characterised by feeling exhausted, cynical, and ineffective. There are six common triggers for burnout: workload, lack of control, insufficient reward, lack of community, fairness, and conflicting values. While these triggers apply to general burnout, Autistic burnout has its own distinct features…
Masking is a significant contributor to Autistic burnout. Masking refers to the act of hiding or suppressing aspects of oneself in order to fit in with neurotypical expectations. It may involve suppressing soothing behaviours like stimming or intense interests, mimicking the behaviour of others, and developing complex social scripts. Masking can be conscious or subconscious and adds an additional layer of strain for Autistic people..
Sensory issues are another factor that sets Autistic burnout apart. Forcing oneself to endure painful or overwhelming sensory environments, such as in school or other social settings, can be incredibly draining and exacerbate burnout. From personal experience, I know how drained I am after a day in the office - despite having a “quiet room” I can go to whenever I need! If I need to go into the office multiple days in a row, or if I am travelling to a multi-day conference, this all adds up. I now know I need to have a few days off to decompress after “high sensory overload” days.
Finally, Autistic people often have strong passions and values, and hold themselves to a high standard. I have spent years learning to say no, learning to prioritise, and putting my Autistic needs first. I am still trying to understand that my worth is not based on how much work I can do for others.
What Autistic Burnout Feels Like
Autistic burnout manifests differently for each individual, but there are common themes and experiences. Personally, I describe burnout as feeling like the world has become overwhelmingly intense, and the weight of my mask becomes too heavy to bear.
During burnout, even small issues feel insurmountable, and everything feels urgent. My sensory sensitivity becomes extremely high, I no longer get joy from my special interests, and basic functions like eating, sleeping, and resting become difficult. I also tend to get meltdowns or shutdowns more frequently.
Mentally, I feel like “words are hard” and it is impossible to get joy from anything. My mental health deteriorates, I experience symptoms of depression and my social anxiety increases; I obsess over possible social errors I may have made. I tend to self-isolate.
Physically, my body shows signs of exhaustion and stress. I feel tired, but cannot sleep. I get neck tics, cold sores, and sometimes even a cough. Every step I take requires immense effort, almost as if I were wading through treacle (a thick syrup).
Recovering from Autistic burnout
There is no shame in experiencing burnout; it is simply a sign that you need to prioritise your needs and take steps towards self-care and recovery.
Stop - Take Yourself Seriously
First and foremost, acknowledge the seriousness of your situation. Understand that burnout is not a personal failure but a result of pushing yourself beyond your limits. If you feel like you are drowning, it's essential to stop, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to float. Give yourself permission to pause, rest, and recuperate.
It can be difficult to identify when you are feeling stressed. Personally, I attribute this to my alexithymia (not knowing what emotions I am feeling). That’s why I recommend filling in the Know Your Normal worksheet by Ambitious About Autism. It will help you map your baseline and identify when something is wrong much faster.
Identify Overwhelming Stressors
To effectively recover from burnout, it is crucial to identify the stressors that contribute to your overwhelm. Make a list of all the factors that are weighing you down.
Consider your workload, including chores, and evaluate if you are adequately rewarded for your efforts, both financially and socially. Reflect on your sense of community and connection, and whether you have a supportive network. Examine if masking, the act of hiding your Autistic traits, is adding to your stress. Lastly, assess your sensory environment and how it impacts your well-being.
Acceptance
Once you have identified your stressors, it's time to address the ones that are within your control. Take action to mitigate or eliminate them where possible. However, it's important to accept that some stressors may be beyond your control.
Embrace your neurodivergent nature and acknowledge your unique needs and behaviours. Acceptance of your autism allows you to approach self-care with compassion and understanding.
Prioritise Joy and Relaxation
Recovering from burnout involves rediscovering joy and relaxation in your life. Create a "happy list" of activities that bring you genuine pleasure and help you recharge. Divide these activities by energy level, as some may require more energy than others.
If like me, you like to do a lot of activities, and don’t know how to prioritise your needs and your recovery, your schedule may be packed. Reduce your commitments and make space for self-care.
This will also help you minimise sensory stimuli. Find ways to create a calming environment and reduce overwhelm. Examples of this include decluttering your room, asking for different lighting at work, wearing noise-cancelling headphones, or removing all the uncomfortable clothes from your wardrobe. Once you have removed sensory stressors, you can add sensory enhancers, like rainbow lights, weighted blankets, fidgets, etc.
Finally, seek the support of understanding people around you and don't hesitate to ask for help. Professional mental health support is invaluable if you can get it, but you can also ask people around you for practical help. I like to write out my to-do list, and then decide what I can do, what I could delegate, what isn’t actually a priority and I should dump, and then finally anything that is important for me to do but I cannot do it right now - that is “delay”.
Reframe Your Definition of Success
Finally, reframe your perspective on success to prioritise sustainability and well-being. Let go of quantitative measures, such as the number of hours worked or social media likes, and focus on qualitative success. Set meaningful goals that revolve around connection, balance, and feeling "enough."
Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem, and acknowledge that your well-being matters above all else. You deserve a life filled with balance, connection, and the knowledge that you are enough.
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